Why I Quit Witchcraft
This image may be generated with AI, but let me assure you, it is similar to what I looked like the weeks of purging the witchcraft out of my life. Below, in my Author’s Note, you can read my conviction. For now, let me explain why quitting witchcraft dramatically reduced my anxiety and panic disorder (yes, I am diagnosed).
For over a decade, about 16 years now, I’ve gone through readings, meditations, and have clocked in countless hours of shadow work. While I am not opposed to meditations and journaling (I am a writer, after all), I will say the most harm I’ve caused to myself was when I did and received tarot readings, as well as did shadow work through spells and many written out pages of notes from a deep soul dissection — over and over again. This included “prayers” to Spirit or the Universe to help slowly expose the roots that kept me trapped, so that I may process them, heal, and be free, slowly but surely. I was advised to never go too deep or ask for too much at once; that these things take time and nurturing. It was all beautiful in it’s own way and I know all my teachers and peers had harmless intentions. Unfortunately, it hurt me.
After journaling, studying under guru meditation teachers, visiting with therapists and psychiatrists, and sitting through readings with experts… after always doing the shadow work…
After dozens of books telling me that change only happens when we actually answer the questions in their books about our childhood and past, which I followed obediently…
After all of that, for over a decade, I did not come out happier, more free, or stronger. I did not come out more forgiving. I did not come out with massive change. Though I did receive A-HA! moments after all these exercises, that was it. That’s as far as it went. Almost like saying, “Okay cool, now I know. Now what?” Now you go on with your life with this knowledge and you affirm your way into becoming a transformed person.
The most influential work I did to dramatically reduce anxiety and panic disorder was to stop analyzing my life — past and present. I literally said, “I’m done!” to asking ‘Why?’
Why am I like this?
Why did they do that?
Why did she say that to me?
Why can’t he see how much he hurts me?
Why can’t I be more like this?
Why am I not a millionaire?
The irony is that witchcraft will give us spells to become wealthier, healthier, happier, and successful in life, but at the same time will guide us to go deep inside and poke at the very things that keep us from being financially stable, happier, healthier, and successful. Because being in a constant state of sadness and melancholy gets us nowhere close to where we want to be, or who we are meant to be. Emotions are temporal. So why bring the buried ones back up to the surface? It’s not even the same one as we felt before. Memory. Sure, memories can sting. But again, you can be in the middle of a memory that triggers an emotion, then get a phone call of good news, and be completely removed from that negative emotion prior. Why cling to it? Why ask ‘Why’?
We ask ‘Why’ because our brains are meant to figure things out. We ask why things work, not why things make us cry. Our brains are curious. But that’s our cue. You’re free to ask ‘Why’ if you are genuinely curious. But if it’s emotionally driven, pause. Before asking why, before investigating, check in:
Are you upset?
Are you ashamed?
Are you prideful?
Are you angry?
Are you annoyed?
There’s nothing to analyze about any of those feelings. It means you’re human. That’s your answer. I just saved you hours and hours of self-judgement for something we all do simply because we are human beings. Want to know why you’re upset with your spouse? Because you’re human. Going deep into why people hurt you before you were six years old is not going to prevent you from being angry with your spouse again one day, probably very soon.
None of that shadow work matters. How will knowing help you? The very fact that you’re even aware to ask ‘Why’ means you know there’s a shift that needs to be made. That sense of shift is the gateway to your solution.
Upset = Confidence/Different environment
Shame = Forgiveness
Pride = Humility
Anger = Love/A good cry or rant in your journal/trusted friend
Annoyed = Quiet/Or food/Or both
What I do is pause, close my eyes, and then I pray to God to help me remove the negative emotion and to take it from me. I ask Him to replace it with the solution. In other words, if I am ashamed for telling someone off in traffic (even if they flipped me off), then I give it up to God and I ask him to help me forgive the other person and to also forgive me. What ends up happening after just a short while is I start to feel that forgiveness for the other person. I start to feel compassion for them as a fellow human-being. Then I start to feel much happier and free from that interaction taking up my entire day.
And what makes something like that take up our entire day? Over analyzing it, that’s right. No sense in wondering what they meant, or what you could’ve said that would’ve stuck it to them harder. There is no sense in blaming Mom for that time she really hurt you many years ago. You got mad. You were human. Honestly, congratulations for being human and having a heart that feels. Seriously? That’s a gift.
Wounds are not meant to be poked at over and over again. You add treatment. You rest. You calm down so your blood flows. You heal it with medicine. And yes, that is through prayer. You can’t heal what you can’t feel, sure, but let God take care of that, then enjoy the life He gave you and be free from the grip anxiety and panic currently has over you. Besides, that saying is for physical pain, not emotional. I’m not saying negative emotions are bad to have, but witchcraft kind of taught me they are and we should deeply investigate where they came from. I don’t recall it having me analyze why I am happy. The craft feeds off of the darkest parts of us. It wouldn’t exist if what it teaches actually worked and made all our problems go away by blowing cinnamon outside of my doorway every first of the month. Yes, that was me. I had it marked on my calendar. Did it work? No. And for those questioning my intentions, yes, I did try my absolute best to stay consistently positive, state affirmations, think, think, think, grow, grow, grow, rich, rich, rich. “Feel off? Go do shadow work, fast, or it’ll sabotage your results!” I’m anxious already.
Witchcraft comes with deep analysis. And while I feel the intentions are innocent, I do not think it helps. In fact, I think it keeps us in a perpetual state of questioning every thing that is “wrong” with us. And while I am at it…
Not every thought you have comes true. You can stop worrying about those human negative thoughts of worry you have from time to time. Breathe, friend.
AUTHOR’S NOTE: One night broke the camel’s back. I had been getting panic attacks every other day, and for most weeks I’d have only one day without high anxiety or panic per week. My doctors were concerned with my blood pressure and advised I go on medication. While I could justify the reasons of my panic, 90% of them were all in my head. That is verified now, weeks and months later. The things I worried about and analyzed never came to fruition. What I was thinking did not “manifest”. But this one night, I went into shock for something untrue. If it wasn’t for the blood on the floor by my pet, I’d think it was a hallucination. However, blood or not, my pet was completely fine. No blood on him. No illness. Nothing! I was so sure of what I saw and I was getting ready to take him to the vet and prepared to put him down. I saw a sick and crying cat only for minutes later to have my husband check for himself (while I was hyperventilating and pacing) and for him to say, “Umm, he’s fine. What are you talking about?” My husband saw the blood, so I knew something was true. But he did not see what I had seen. My cat was totally fine, even playful. And months later, my cat is in great health and has had no problems.
But, that night I got a strong feeling inside, once my shock settled and I got myself up off the floor from weakness and brain fog (very bad panic attack), and I understood the message. “REMOVE ALL WITCHCRAFT FROM THE HOME NOW!” And I knew that was from God. It was 9:30pm and I didn’t finish until about 11pm. And I spent the next two weeks finding hidden things all over. I removed blankets, spell books, crystals, books, pendulums, incense I used for spells, candles I used for spells, anything that I used with the intention of witchcraft, it was gone. Clothes, dried herbs, pictures, idols, you name it.
And since then, I have felt normal levels of anxiety that come — like when my husband said his radiator cap needed to be replaced, I got anxiety for his safety during his long commute. But, a little prayer goes a long way, and all is well. I am free.
